For every man who wants to keep their relationship with their significant other during the holiday: A Public Service Announcement.

Yes, I’m serious.

For today’s tale from the sofa (counseling sofa, that is), I’m sharing a tale of gift giving gone wrong.
Sometime you don’t need coaching on the perfect words TO say, it’s altogether to do with what NOT to say.

Let’s suppose for a moment that a woman asks her mate for a special Christmas gift of chocolates that make her heart sing. (Burdicks chocolates, anyone?) These are delectable treats she has not asked for, or received, for a long time, but which she gives to others from time to time. Because they’re magic. Truly!

So her mate ponders this, has the wherewithal to asks for some specifics and goes on his merry way. Or so she thinks.

A while later, he announces that speaking with the company was rather time-consuming (being the week before Christmas and all, yes, they are busy), and that shipping is horrendously expensive, and that, by golly, if there’s going to be chocolates coming into the house with any regularity, it ought to be through a different company.

Woman (who is normally a talker) says….nothing.

Man continues (unwisely) with a comment that, with shipping, these chocolates cost $100/pound.

Woman says….nothing.

Man, unused to having her silent, says….”not that you’re not worth it.”

Woman holds her tongue while thinking “Damn straight.”
Going to be interesting when those chocolates arrive……

Therapist’s advice?

Any man in this situation ought to simply quietly order a quarter pound of said chocolates if that’s what he can ecologically afford
AND…..
NOT.
SAY.
ANYTHING.
Allow his partner to be guilt-free and happy and enjoy her chocolate alchemy.
After all, if she’d rather have divinely inspired consumable goods rather than jewels or more practical gifts, so be it.

Moral of the story? Give your partner the best you ecologically can, graciously, and be rewarded with the gift of a smile that lights her eyes when she opens it! She will thank you, I will thank you, and we will heretofore think of you ever after as one of The Good Ones.
Because I’m sure you are.
We all just need a reminder sometimes.

And if you have a story of what not to say, I’d love to have you share it here!