You Are So Much More Than a Sperm Donor:

The Top 10 Things New Dads Need to Know

1. Becoming a good lover takes time. So does becoming a good father. Donating sperm may have been easy, but fatherhood can be a lot more rewarding. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.

2. Diaper duty earns big points. So does feeding, rocking, and bathing your baby. Any hands-on fathering will be a big help to your partner and your baby.

3. Your wife will be herself again. Yes, she is probably on duty 24 hours a day with baby on the brain. No, she probably isn’t much fun right now. But life will return to normal as the three of you adjust to your new situation, and the alchemy of your presence can help this process tremendously.

4. Your wife still needs you. Stay nearby and be patient. You may not recognize the woman you partnered up with 9 or 10 months ago, but she is still in there.

5. You will have sex again. With your wife. Given a little time, you can resume some of your more enjoyable husbandly duties.

6. Postpartum disorders are no one’s fault. It is normal for new moms to experience some sort of postpartum mood disorder. It’s not your fault, or hers either. Some symptoms are temporary. All are treatable.

7. Sleep helps. Your wife is probably getting a fraction of the sleep she used to. You may be on the light side as well. Helping each other get more sleep is one of the most important things you can do to help everyone feel better.

8. Trust your instincts. Different “experts”, including the guy in line at the grocery store, will tell you to handle your baby a different way. Trust yourself, your wife and your baby to tell you what you need to know.

9. Your baby needs to play with you. Here is a case where having fun is the right thing. Playing stimulates your baby’s mind and body to develop in healthy ways. You may feel more playful right now than your wife, so go for it.

10. Learn when to ask for help. Life can be stressful with a new baby. It should get easier with time. If things get worse, or simply don’t improve, it is time to ask for help.