I bet you think no one is looking…while you are tapping into a deep reservoir of strength to bolster your resolve…speaking with courageous clarity rather than letting corrosive comments slide…choosing integrity over comfort, painfully aware that your voice speaks for all those who cannot be heard.
I am grateful every day for the thousand ways you show up in our world, quietly choosing again…and again…to bring compassion and understanding into conversations rife with peril. Telling the truth, sharing creative ideas, asking for that which will work better while refusing to attack the character of the people around you. After all, it is the tiny, consistent choices that build the foundation of our lives…and have the power to transform the mightiest structures in society.
We need your Light
I offer you the gift of gratitude, the knowledge that you are seen with love, and this alchemical video from Brandi Carlile. Nominated for 6 Grammy Awards, it appears Brandi burst into stardom out of nowhere. In reality, this powerhouse been writing and playing her heart out for twenty years. Hailing from a town of less than 1,000 souls, she’s held fast to her spirit, refusing to be swayed by the opinions of the masses…and now we are privileged to witness her song, “The Joke”, vibrating the sinews of courage and faith throughout our world.
May your spirit be bouyed…and your faith in humanity…as you watch, listen, and perhaps, if you are like me, weep with gratitude.
I write through tears today, grieving the sudden loss of a loved one. Preparing to navigate this day, a healing by a wild thing earlier this year jumps forefront to my mind. Knowing you have much on your mind and heart as well, I offer this to buoy your spirits and encourage your journey.
At the end of two fulfilling but exhausting mid-summerweeks, I longed to curl up in a puddle for a brief lunch break. I headed for the sofa, but my breath caught as my daughter’s insistent voice sounded up the stairs.
“Mom, we have an issue.”
Sighing, I gathered the few remaining tendrils of strength to tend the “issue” before my world changed.
A hawk with golden eyes was staring directly at me, held in my daughter’s arms.
The hawk (likely a Cooper’s) had run into a window and stunned itself. To the best of my knowledge, no bird has EVER heretofore run into our basement windows. There are no feeders nearby and no other birds frequent this underdeck area.
We went outside to a safe space overlooking the river. Settling weary bones onto the wooden deck, I expected to wait quietly a few feet away while hawk recovered. Hawk had something entirely different in mind…and hopped right into my lap! Talons pierced deeply into my skin, drawing blood, but hawk clearly meant no harm – only desiring companionship. Hawk placed her head over my heart, angling under my left arm while I stroked her marvelous feathers.
Grateful but in pain, I gently detached her talons and set hawk down, returning with jeans on to protect tender flesh. My exhaustion eased as we took comfort in each other, this wild, magical creature and I.
Offering Gratitude
I transferred her to my daughter and gathered a bit of venison for hawk’s nourishment (for which she was most grateful!). Regaining strength, she lifted onto the railing, silently looking at me for a few minutes before flying away.
I thought that was the end of the story, but she landed on my van a few hours later before roosting on a branch outside our window overnight.
Gratitude fills my heart and mind today. May this intimate peek into my life bring nourishment for your soul.
I want to remember this moment.
There are tubes everywhere – attached to his hands, leg, face…and more. Bringing life giving fluids and oxygen, helping to circulate blood, carrying toxins away. I have been strong.
I did not wring my hands while he was in surgery. I sat in the wide, sunlit windowsill. I breathed. In…and out…and in again. I prayed. I meditated. I felt the love of our invisible energetic allies. I talked to the fairies in the garden outside my window.
The simple truth is that you are worthy and you transform the world by being here.
Not by doing something big and amazing that people cannot help but notice (although that may absolutely be the case), but by being you.
And for this, I truly give thanks.
My wish is that you can go through your day secure in the knowledge that it is impossible for you to be in the world without affecting it, and that the way you bring yourself forward and keep showing up even when there are moments that try your soul is MORE than good enough.
Maybe you have people in the world who speak this truth to you. If so, that’s fantastic!
But even if you look around and see your loved ones engaged with a thousand dramas of daily life, unable at this moment to reach out and give you a bear hug and remind you that you matter, that’s OK, too.
Because I’m here, and our community at The Alchemist’s Heart and Inviting Aphrodite is here, and we happen to be entering the darkest days of the year counting our blessings that you are present.
So please know this – as I celebrate Thanksgiving today, I send love and prayers for you, your family and your friends, trusting that for at least one true moment, no matter where you are and what you are doing, you may know that YOU ARE LOVED.
I learn quickly, shifting my angle to avoid her piercing nails, only to find her teeth lashing out, nipping my skin.
How did she learn to fight like this? Did she have to do this to protect herself, or is this completely instinctual?
I force myself to lean INTO her field, past the quick, feral arms, and whisper softly to her ear.
She’s scared, disoriented. I have to talk to her, stroke her, reassure her, let her know it’s OK.
This woman I barely know is dying.
The same woman who gave life to my beloved, and had used her life and death-giving powers to withhold love and physical affection when he needed it most.
This is my mother-in-law, and I am here to love her so she knows she is not alone.
