alchemy for moms Archives - The Alchemist's Heart

Her big eyes searching my face, I couldn’t hold her gaze.
Head down, I was ashamed I couldn’t answer her question.

“Mom, can we have a whole day together to just do fun things? We can eat our favorite goodies and not have you do any work at all?”

My head spun.
I was recovering from the flu and exhausted after a long day tending beloved clients with enormous stressors. I’d pushed too hard, but my heart was determined to serve.

Now my daughter needed me, but all I could think was “An entire day off? How on Earth can I do that?” It’s not practical! There’s too much to do!

And then she threw in the clincher….”Mom? This is what I want for Christmas.”

This should have been easy.
She is 13 years old.
She still wants to spend time with me.
It really doesn’t get any better than that.

I am blessed beyond measure, but Goddess help me, I STILL couldn’t give her an unequivocal yes.

Instead of looking into her eyes and assuring her I would ABSOLUTELY grant her wish, all I could manage was to say “Honey, I hear you, I know this matters and I’ll work on it.”

Not a proud moment….but a human one.

TIME and attention are our most precious commodities.
We are so damn busy whilst starving for human connection.
I know this.
I teach the importance of being truly present with each other.
And yet I couldn’t walk my talk.

So I asked myself how I would feel about this years from now.
Would I regret not being able to give this incredible daughter a simple day together? Teaching through my actions that she didn’t matter as much as all the other things that needed tending?

The answer was a resounding YES.

I resolved to get some sleep, clear my head, and choose with wisdom.

Now I’m writing you this embarrassing but absolutely true love letter.
Because I suspect I’m not the only one in need of this lesson.

In 20 short minutes, I’ll be picking her up from school, where I will thank her for making the request. I will assure her that not only will I follow through on this for Christmas, but REGULARLY, if she desires.

Because I get a second chance to choose again.

And Dearheart, so do you.
As long as you are breathing, you get to re-decide. And choosing again is one of our most potent tools for change.

Choosing again is one of our most potent tools for change.

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So tell me, quickly, what is ONE THING your spirit cries for that you have pushed aside as impractical or taking too much time?

Comment on this post and share what nourishment you are willing to claim for your life!

I will hold your name and nourishing activity in mind and heart over the next few weeks to support you in actualizing what you dearly need.

I await your word.

Alert! This may not be what you think!

So you’ve read through the signs and symptoms of stress, baby blues and postpartum depression. Fatigue, mood swings, weepiness, irritability, guilt, anxiety, forgetfulness and despondency are high on your list. Maybe disappointment, numbness, lack of interest in your baby and yourself, hypersensitivity to criticism and feelings of vulnerability are on there as well. And let’s not forget your restless sleep patterns, loss of sexuality, insomnia, confusion and difficulty concentrating. If you are experiencing some combination of these, you must have a postpartum mood disorder, right?

Not necessarily. While I believe PPD and other postpartum disorders are often under-diagnosed, they are not always the true culprits. In my office, I recommend that mothers who come in with symptoms of postpartum mood disorders get a comprehensive medical assessment to check for underlying biochemical issues. It is certainly possible that you have a postpartum mood disorder if you experience these symptoms for an extended period of time following the birth of your child. However, it is important to know that nearly all of the “classic” postnatal disorder symptoms can be caused by a wide range of other medical disorders.

Take a look at these examples: Diabetes can cause low energy, anxiety and other symptoms of depression. Anemia can be responsible for fatigue, weakness and irritability. Thyroid disorders, prevalent in up to 10% of postpartum women, can mimic postpartum depression. Even something as simple as a vitamin deficiency can cause a host of easily treatable symptoms. One woman who struggled for months with what appeared to be postpartum depression finally consulted a doctor and discovered she had a systemic yeast infection. Once treated, she returned to her “old self” within 2 weeks!

Of course, it is entirely possible to have an underlying medical issue along with a postpartum mood disorder. The best way to be sure is to rule out or treat anything that may be masquerading as such. Only then can you be sure that the treatment you receive is right for you.

For some great advice on getting a health care provider to pay attention to more than just your birth canal at your 6 week checkup and beyond, check out the alchemical ideas in The Essential Mommy-Muse Toolkit.

Tag / alchemy for moms

Confessions of an Alchemist ~ The Power of Choosing Again

Under Cover: What if it’s not PPD?