Her big eyes searching my face, I couldn’t hold her gaze.
Head down, I was ashamed I couldn’t answer her question.
“Mom, can we have a whole day together to just do fun things? We can eat our favorite goodies and not have you do any work at all?”
My head spun.
I was recovering from the flu and exhausted after a long day tending beloved clients with enormous stressors. I’d pushed too hard, but my heart was determined to serve.
Now my daughter needed me, but all I could think was “An entire day off? How on Earth can I do that?” It’s not practical! There’s too much to do!
And then she threw in the clincher….”Mom? This is what I want for Christmas.”
This should have been easy.
She is 13 years old.
She still wants to spend time with me.
It really doesn’t get any better than that.
I am blessed beyond measure, but Goddess help me, I STILL couldn’t give her an unequivocal yes.
Instead of looking into her eyes and assuring her I would ABSOLUTELY grant her wish, all I could manage was to say “Honey, I hear you, I know this matters and I’ll work on it.”
Not a proud moment….but a human one.
TIME and attention are our most precious commodities.
We are so damn busy whilst starving for human connection.
I know this.
I teach the importance of being truly present with each other.
And yet I couldn’t walk my talk.
So I asked myself how I would feel about this years from now.
Would I regret not being able to give this incredible daughter a simple day together? Teaching through my actions that she didn’t matter as much as all the other things that needed tending?
The answer was a resounding YES.
I resolved to get some sleep, clear my head, and choose with wisdom.
Now I’m writing you this embarrassing but absolutely true love letter.
Because I suspect I’m not the only one in need of this lesson.
In 20 short minutes, I’ll be picking her up from school, where I will thank her for making the request. I will assure her that not only will I follow through on this for Christmas, but REGULARLY, if she desires.
Because I get a second chance to choose again.
And Dearheart, so do you.
As long as you are breathing, you get to re-decide. And choosing again is one of our most potent tools for change.
So tell me, quickly, what is ONE THING your spirit cries for that you have pushed aside as impractical or taking too much time?
Comment on this post and share what nourishment you are willing to claim for your life!
I will hold your name and nourishing activity in mind and heart over the next few weeks to support you in actualizing what you dearly need.
I await your word.
Self care…constantly trying to keep measure up support elder parents mom terminal trying to remain sober I have 15 years but have relapsed with speed. I have a serious issue with health kidney disease prediabetic Hi from brutal rape..neglected needed services because I’m terrified medically and health needs urgent care. My mail in colon test came in suspect 6 months ago…I’m a facade a let down to self…