Gratitude fills my heart and mind today. May this intimate peek into my life bring nourishment for your soul.
I want to remember this moment.
There are tubes everywhere – attached to his hands, leg, face…and more. Bringing life giving fluids and oxygen, helping to circulate blood, carrying toxins away.
I have been strong.
I did not wring my hands while he was in surgery.
I sat in the wide, sunlit windowsill.
I breathed. In…and out…and in again.
I prayed. I meditated. I felt the love of our invisible energetic allies.
I talked to the fairies in the garden outside my window.
I sent tender Love to my sister Priestess across the world, also with her husband during surgery.
Until, after nearly 5 hours, I saw him again…and the beautiful smile of recognition that spread across his face.
My heart swelled with gratitude to see the blush of life blooming on his cheeks.
Which was enough.
We are blessed with another miracle.
But now it is evening, and we are weary from the ordeal of this day.
I rub scented oil into his arms and chest, asking what else I can do to help him rest. Music perhaps?
He bids me to join him on the bed.
How shall I enter with all the tubes?
What if I hurt him?
What if I break something?
But his spirit knows exactly what he needs. As does mine.
So I pad up gently, under some devices, over others, gingerly resting
my head on his shoulder.
“Closer,” he says. “Put your knee up over my good leg.”
And I do.
He pulls me close and holds me tightly until the tears…the ones I didn’t know I had while I’d been so busy being strong…begin to flow. And flow.
But he does not mind the salty pool spreading across his chest.
Because right now, in this moment, our hearts are full.